the wait

warning, before continue reading, let me first apologize for every mistake I might make, writing in English. I'm just an Indonesian who loves to write...

this is for sundayscribblings this week's prompt, scandalous

Her agitation was raising up. She could no longer count how many times she sat, and stood, and sat again , and stood again. On the edge of the bed, on the chair in the living room, in the guest room…. Walking here and there from her room to the kitchen. Then back to her room again. Turned on the tv, to l eave it to stand next to the window. Then went back to the room an turned off the tv. And sat again

She looked at her phone cell. It didn’t ring. No calls nor messages. She checked out every five minutes. But off course still nothing. Because if there was any, that thing would have rang. She thought may be her phone was error. SO she turned it off and opened the case. She took the battery, and the chip. She cleaned them although she knew they weren’t dirty. She put them on, and turned it on. And checked again like every minute, but nothing changed.

She grabbed a novel she bought few days ago. There are times reading could kill time. But some times it doesn’t help at all. Like this time. Her fingers have opened few pages, but then she realized, nothing has got into her head. Not even passed by. SO she started from the last point she could remember. Again and again. Her eyes were reading, but her heart and mind were flying away……

She look at the clock on the south wall, right in front of the chair she was sitting on.. Why did she feel it didn’t move? Was it broken? So she looked at her watch, it showed exactly the same. The clock on her phone cell showed two minutes earlier. Forgivable deviation. So the clock was not broken, there was no way all clocks in this house were broken.

***

Dina realized who she was. Her position. Her situation. This was her choice, and she understood all the consequences.

Dina also realized who Juna was. His position. His situation. And this was a part of her choice.
Juna once reminded her about this.
“I just want to make sure you understand the situation”
“I knew it all, Jun. Every single thing”
“Not just knowing, but understanding”
“I understand”
“The choice we made, the consequences…”
“I unerstand that too, and I will face it”

Juna stared at the woman’s eyes. There sadness, surrender, hopes, and indescribable love. Dina stared at the man. There are pity, protection, promises and abundant affection.

“I only wish for your happiness, Din. If this will just hurt you, I will surely refuse to do”
“What made you think I will suffer? My happiness may not bo complete. But if you leave me, you will just take it all away, and nothing left for me”

They never stop communicating. Juna called and sent messages any time he could. From jokes to sigh. From seduction to anger. Ah no... he never was angry. May be he was, but he never showed it. He always said, “It’s ok…”. It was Dina who some times sulked. But Dina always remind her self not to, because it was a part of the consequences of her choice. Juna never talked about it though.

Dina knew exactly who Juna was. His activities as a big businessman has left so many littla time for them to meet. Because, even for his first wife, Juna only had so limited time. Juna run his business from Jakarta, While his wife and three children lived in Yogya. Juna never styed in the same place in a day. In the morning he was in Ciputat, at the afternoon he called he sent a message telling he was on the way to Bogor. Mid night when Dina said good night, Juna may be in Jakarta again, preparing for a meeting the next day.

But physically, Dina had to accept that Juna’s time for her is almost not there. Her days waiting, some times only paid off with one hour or two being together. And she accepted it.

***

Like today. She’s been waiting for two weeks, and Juna said they could meet today. He is having a meeting in bogor. He said before his flight to Yogya, he would meet her. When Juna said it is a meeting, Dina would never called him. He would let her know when he’s done.

But it’s been four hours since the last message Juna sent before the meeting. Dina wanted to remind Juna, could he forget. No, he never did. But four hours... he never did a meeting this long. Dina didn’t want to upset him. No, Juna would not be up set. He will just answer shortly: Still in meeting, I’ll call you. Luv you.

Suddenly Dina shocked by the vibration of her phone cell. Juna! No. It’s her mother. Not that she wasn’t happy her mother called, but she was hoping for Juna’s call.

“Halo, Dina?”
“Halo Mother”
“I just finished shopping in Pasar Minggu. I’m about to go home, Can I stop by?”
“Not now, Ibu..”
“Why? Ah… Is Juna there?”
“Mm… yeah…”
“I also want to meet him”
“You did once…”
“It was so long ago”
“Mother, I don’t want to be selfish. But Juna’s time for me is so little. He has to fly toYogya at five. If you come here we won’t be able to…” Dina pretended she was shy to continue.
“Ok, I understand. I’ll go straight home then”
“I’m sorry Mother. Soon as Juna go, I’ll visit you, I promise”
“NO need to hurry”
Quite for a while
“Din, I’m glad he visits you”
“What do you mean?”
“You know what I mean, dear. I’ve always worried that he wouldn’t give you enough time. I can’t imagine how would you be if he desert you”
“Mother, what are you talking about? No body deserted me. Do you want to talk to Juna?”, her beats fast when she offered this. She was afraid the her mother would say yes, but no, she said,
“No thanks. Just tell him I said hello. Be good, ok?”
“Yes, mother”

***

Dina took a deep breath, relieved. She laid down on her bed. Then cuddled up holding her phone. Tears she’s been holding while having conversation with her mother, shed right at the time. Lying to cover her pain, is much more painful than the pain it self.

No, mother. Juna is not here. I’m just waiting for him to come. And I don’t want yo to see me like this. If it was not because my love to Juna, I would call all my willing to hold on, an insanity…

Her mother would never accept if her daughter is left. They’ve talked about this also, before. She almost said no, when Dina told her she wanted to marry Juna.

“Being the second wife is not easy. Moreover with his first wife not knowing about this”
“I know that, mother. But I won’t ask for too much. Juna will not give her wife less than before either. I don’t want to hurt other woman’s feeling. I’m ready for whatever I will have to face”
And her mother hugged her tight.

***

A knock on the front door woke her up from her thoughts about her mother. She hurry up wiped her tears. Juna should not se her crying. Few steps forward, Dina went back to the bath room. Tissue paper is not enough to wipe this. She washed her face, and walked to open the door.
And this was who stood in front of her . a young man with a flower bouquet for her.

“Miss Dina? Mister Arjuna sent you this”, He smiled as he was happy too, for a flower full of love for lovers.
“Thank you very much”, she brought the flowers in. she read the card between the flowers: ‘for my rainbow, with all love, Juna’

With all questions, doubt, disappointment and hopes mixed up in her heart, Dina put the bouquet into a big glass filled with water. Dina didn’t have any vase. This was the first time Juna sent flowers.

The phone rang, this time from Juna. Dina look at the clock before she picked it up. It’s 16.20. At five the plane that will take Juna meet her family in Yogya will board. Is Juna there on the way here? Or is he already standing in front of my door and called to play a joke?

“Halo”
“Halo, Dina, dear”, Juna sounds so weary.
“I‘ve been waiting, the meeting was so long”
“Yes. I’m also a little upset about that. It was so hard. I just finished, two hours much longer than I predicted. I thought I could see you before I go to the airport, but it’s almost half to five now. My plane will be boarding at five. I’m in the toll way right now. I’m sorry I didn’t make it. Oh, by the way.. I had a chance to order…. halo… Din?”
“Yeah.. yeah.. I can hear you, Jun. Your flower are here, thank you”
“Oh really? That fast? Do you like it?”
“I do. Beautiful. I was surprised. You never did this before, thank you very much”
She can here Juna sighed out there. Sound like he thought he just did a romantic thing.
“Thank God, I hope it can substitute my presence this time. I’m sorry. I’ll try my best to come some other time”
“Sure, have a nice trip…”
“I’ll call you later”
“yes, don’t forget”
“Din, I love you”
“I know, bye..”

And I love you too, Juna, I love you very much.
Dina hang up the phone. She closed her eyes tightly, hoping the tears wouldn’t flow. But it was no use. This is the real pain. Dina was so afraid that after this she really has to buy a vase, because Juna will often change his presences with flowers……

***

Dina looked at the mirror once again, to make sure there wasn’t any sign she just cried. She has prepared the happiest smile to show to her mother.

“Halo, Mother, Juna has left. I’m going your house now”
“Is Juna driving you?”
“No mother. We are going different ways. He would miss his plane if he has to drive me to you first. I’m taking a taxi”
“Ok, fine. I’m waiting”
“I’m going now. And oh, mother, Juna said ‘hi’ to you”